I feel a little nutty writing this, but it is part of our story and sometimes your story gets messy. So, here we go:
In December, about a week after we got down to San Diego, I already had hesitations. It was strange- a mix of pure happiness to be back and see the sun shining, met with feeling like, “what are we doing here?” I’ve shared this before, but I actually didn’t love growing up in San Diego. I always felt like I belonged somewhere else as a kid. But it was home and home will always be just that, home. There is always the comfort of that. However, as I went on my 7th year of living in Portland, I began to see San Diego in a different way when I’d visit. In a more positive way. After being in a climate like the PNW for so long, I had a whole new appreciation for the Californian lifestyle and that is where the curiosity began… I couldn’t stop wondering if it was a good fit for our family (especially with Tyson being from the PNW).
Anyway, as we got more settled in here, the mixed feelings continued. The weather felt SO great, seeing old friends and family *from a distance* felt so great, but I still didn’t feel certain, and neither did Tyson. I thought Tyson would think this was the dream, but while he definitely appreciated the weather too (and how fast you get to drive on the freeways – haha!) he was pretty impartial and definitely wasn’t in love with it.
So, there I was. Pregnant, realizing we aren’t 100% feeling like this is where we are wanting to be, and knowing that the next step would be to go check out the other cities on our list. Terrible timing, might I add. You really don’t get the full feel of a city right now in my opinion because nothing is normal. But, I just accepted that was part of the journey we are on…
THEN, I had a business call one afternoon. This call stirred up a bunch of thoughts about our business and how frustrating it is to operate a business like ours in California and I joked with Tyson afterward saying “could you imagine if we went back to Portland just because of business?” And it was pretty much the first time even thinking about going back to Portland came up. But, after having a record year last year and hiring more employees (all based in the PNW except 1), we started realizing how much we need to set our roots down quickly. We also discussed how we didn’t want to move our business (even though we are remote) just for a year or so somewhere, only to move it again if it wasn’t where we for sure wanted to be. It just gets complicated! We had these conversations prior to us moving, but I think we were just so eager and excited, we figured we’d make it work and cross that bridge when we get there.
So, all of a sudden Portland was on our mind again. And then I started thinking of my family. And Tyson’s family (both of ours are still up there). Then we started missing friends and the day-to-day things. But most of all, my pregnant self just couldn’t deny how badly I wanted to feel settled. I’m usually a pretty adventurous person. Moving and change doesn’t scare me, but rather excites and drives me. But this pregnancy was clearly speaking to me. I also haven’t slept well in the longest time (and not because of pregnancy, but my mind wandering) and that is so unlike me.
After a lot of conversation, Tyson and I established that it was probably best to stay put in Oregon, have the baby there, keep our business there, and then when things get back to some sense of normalcy and feels safe and good to travel, we’d go visit these other places we’ve been wanting to check out. But in the meantime, keep a home base before making any moves (big, pricey lesson learned).
We started looking for homes up in the Portland area immediately and if you are familiar with the market right now, it’s absolutely crazy. As we started to look, we just kept getting so discouraged. Which then of course made us question if we were making the right choice. Then, a house came that didn’t check all of our boxes, but it checked quite a few. And a few of the most important ones. So, it was the first one we put an offer on- and boom, accepted. I felt like it was a longshot, but I just kept saying, if it is meant to be, it will be. And so here we are…
Meanwhile, Tyson just tore his Achilles and just found out he has to get surgery. So, I have to pretty much drive the entire way back up to Portland myself. And we also have to leave a week early here to get up to Portland for the inspection. I mean, you kind of have to just make light out of this, you know? When we called the movers that moved us down and asked if they were available again, they were like- wait, what? I just laugh lately, but I’m also crying inside.
So, here we are. I can’t wait to get settled soon (pending all things go well with the house). We will be living right up the street from my parents again, so being there with a baby (like we were when Parker was born), will be so great.
This home is not my typical style and needs some work, so I’ve got a lot of excitement and planning to look forward to and I can’t wait to share it all soon!
Cheers to laughing at life sometimes, right?
