Becoming a mother and starting a business within the last 4 years has taught me SO many lessons. I’ve learned to give more grace to others, I’ve learned firsthand the true definition of a “hot mess,” and most importantly, I have learned to truly be selective with my time.
The bottom line is, time is valuable. I would rather take up less time doing the things I don’t want to do or the things that don’t bring value to my life, so I can give my time to others that are important to me: my family, my friends, those I work with, etc. It took me a long time to get here, but this has been a MAJOR growth area for me and it’s something I feel more people could feel a bit more empowered to do for themselves as well.
Here are the top 5 things I did, that really changed the game for me:
Create Boundaries. This is a big one! In order to be effective with time management, you HAVE to create boundaries. It’s ok to say “no” to things (see below) and it’s also important to be reasonable with yourself. I used to overcommit myself frequently and really, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own. I would schedule too many calls in a specific chunk of time; I would agree to meetings that weren’t at an ideal time for me (as opposed to simply suggesting a better time for myself- just for the sake of trying not to be difficult); I would fail to structure my days like I should have; I would go all day, feel behind, and then let things like quality time with my family or getting workout in, slide. Taking control over your schedule, planning efficiently, being realistic with time and not over-committing to things is so incredibly important.
Be comfortable saying “no” to things. How many times have you said yes to something you weren’t really sure you should say yes to, only to scramble last minute, realize you shouldn’t have said yes and then end up having to cancel? THEN, you are left feeling bad about flaking, when you really knew all along that might happen. OR, something comes your way and you just have a hard time saying no to plans. Here’s the thing: it is so liberating to gain a little bit more courage to say “no.” You also don’t need a reason either. You can simply say, “thank you so much for the invite but I can’t make this one.” With work related items, when I just have too much on my plate and it’s not bringing value to me/what I’m doing, I simply say, “Thank you so much but unfortunately this is a busier time for me so I’m not going to be able to get together for lunch.” Of course if there are people you want to help and get to know, that is totally different. It’s just about knowing when and where to say no to something and feeling comfortable and ok with doing so.
If you want to “pick someones brain” in business, give them options. Since I have a lot of knowledge in the social media/influencer space, I get weekly emails/texts/DM’s of people (usually many I don’t even know) from people asking to “pick my brain.” While I’m always flattered, you can imagine how much time this takes up. Last year I said yes to helping EVERYONE. I went to so many coffees, lunches, etc., all just to give other individuals my thoughts and advice on either their social media platforms or their business. The problem is (or more so, was) that I love helping others and I am terrible at saying no. I did truly like meeting new friends through this at times as well. But the truth is, that I got NOTHING out of it and it took up so much of my time. If you are looking to learn more about someones career or simply want some advice, I highly recommend giving them a couple of straightforward options. Include exactly what you want to ask them about, let them know that you value their time and could either set up a call and keep it to 15 minutes, compile an email with questions, take them to lunch, cocktail or coffee. Leave it up to them and then if it all works out, follow up with something simple like a card, bottle of wine, etc. Show them your appreciation!
Be mindful of your expectations of others. Everyone has stuff going on. Specifically since having a kiddo, I’ve certainly learned to give a lot more grace to others, especially parents!! There were nights that we didn’t necessarily have a specific reason why we didn’t want to go somewhere we had made plans to go, other than the fact that we were just exhausted. And that’s ok! Don’t be let down if people can’t make it. Don’t take it personally if that business owner you want to talk to can’t make time.
Place value on everyone’s time, no matter who it is. Although I also think we should give each other more grace like I mentioned above, I think it’s important to place a big value on others time as well. If the party starts at 6pm, be there at 6pm. If you ARE going to commit and take time to do something, try your best to be all in. There have been times in my life where I felt like I was always being flaky with plans I made and the truth is, had I managed my time better and not have overcommitted myself, I wouldn’t have had to have been flaky. Time is valuable, so if you are going to take time to do something or to be with someone, be entirely there.
The best decision I made not too long ago was to be more in control of my time and gain the courage to say no if and when I need to. It has helped me commit more to the plans I DO make and has given me more of my time back. Now, I can spend those moments I do have with the ones that mean the most to me and also spend that free time other things in life that bring me joy. “I’m just so busy” is no longer part of my daily dialogue because I refuse to let it be.
It all starts with us.
xx
Lindsay
